long day

including a trip to the ER to have the boy’s eyes checked out.  all is good.

let’s see – i did actually get to the gym for another half hour on the elliptical when nikki got off work.  but – no back or crunch machine.  i could barely move yesterday afternoon :))  i will go slower on that.  likely won’t go to the gym tomorrow – i am up too late to get up early in the morning (ER visit).

so – as for eating today, i did good!  a balance bar for breakfast – another with a large cup of tea when i took the boy to mcd’s for lunch.  came home and had an afternoon snack of oatmeal and a banana.  dinner was plain rice and some sesame chicken i cooked in the crock pot.  had a cup of hot chocolate after nikki got the boy in bed and i cleaned the soup up from all over the kitchen (hence the ER visit).    calorie wise, 220, then 440, then 600, then 680, then maybe 150 for the rice, so 750, then maybe 200 for the chicken?  so 950, then another 250 for the hot chocolate – so 1200 on the nose.  not bad.  now to sleep. 

 

second inspiration

second inspiration

ok – so today did not go so badly. balance bar for breakfast. 130 calories worth of honey mustard pretzels, some sharp cheddar cheese and a small bowl of frosted mini wheats for lunch. i was mindlessly snacking on some top ramen for steven when i stopped myself and realized i was just popping food in my mouth. dinner was super simple – some ham,, two rings of pineapple, perhaps a half a cup of ramen and some peas. it’s not bedtime yet, but i’m pretty determined that when i am hungry in a few hours, i’m going to have a small cup of hot chocolate and that will be it. oh – i think i had a fruit and nut bar for a snack during the morning. perhaps i could divide those in half – half for a morning snack, half for an afternoon snack. tomorrow is another day – but today went well.

first inspiration…

first inspiration...

i would love to wear this dress. i cannot wear it. perhaps image is the way to accomplish this. i was overweight before, but a year of shoulder problems on the left and foot problems on the right, along with 60-70 hours a week between school/practicum/work with too many meals purchased at drive through windows has added up.

so this morning i started once again. went to LA Fitness, did 30 minutes (slow paced) on an elliptical, and used the low back and crunch machines. steven is sick and trying my patience and what i’d really like is a handful of powdered sugar donuts to deal with the frustration, but here i am starting a blog instead.

so. can i do this, this time around? i honestly don’t know. i hate being this overweight. i need to lose 50 pounds. i hate how i look, i hate buying clothes, i hate having to work to haul myself out of a chair. it’s bad enough having a fairly non-functional shoulder, and the weight doesn’t help. i hate how awkward everything is with 50 extra pounds. so why haven’t i been able to do anything about it? i’m not sure – but i’m going to try once more. if this blog is abandoned in a week, it didn’t work.